Always on my mind...
Yes… I am a week late. Technically, I am six days late if you count that Memorial Day was actually on Monday but the entire working public starts celebrating the Friday before… but I won’t get down to the politics of the holiday and all. The . Point . Is… There are actually many points to this post but I am rambling tonight, sigh, pulling it together for you now, pheeeewwwwwww.
Let’s try this again people. The first thing to learn about having a chronic illness such as Chronic Lyme Disease is that rambling thoughts (such as above) are actually quite common. That little diddy up there was not made up solely for your reading pleasure, I can tell you that. I actually played out that entire scenario in my head all while trying to get my fingers to slow down enough to match the speed of my thoughts. Welcome to the world of having little spirochetes (Lyme bacteria) running around in your brain all the time. *Warning- for all of the “technical medical junkies” reading this blog, they are not actually running around in my brain and for purposes of this blog I would refer you to a more research based website to answer your medical questions, thank you. Oh Yah… and our spelling stinks too, so you’re just gonna have to bear with me. Believe it or not, I used to be really good at that.
Moving on, like I was saying, we tend to ramble. We also tend to lose our place in conversations very easily so I am glad that this is a written format because I had to re-read the previous paragraph to remember what I was talking about! Yes, we lose our place that quickly. You will find that Chronic Lyme sufferers tend to use email, facebook and text messages because it allows us to take our time and make changes to what we are trying to say. We also have a record of what we have already talked about so we don’t get repetitive and look like idiots (like I just did when I invited my friend to this site for the second time because I neglected to look back and see that I had already written to him ~ DUH!)
These are some of the reasons why we don’t like talking on the phone. First of all, you are lucky if you can catch us when we are awake and even if you do, we are going to have a hard time remembering what we talked about probably one hour after we hang up the phone. We actually have to concentrate to have a phone conversation. Most of us take notes! So, be warned, when using the phone it may take you some time to reach us, be prepared for rambling and don’t be surprised if we repeat things that we have already told you or we have to ask you things you have already answered. Better yet, just send me an email. You would not believe the little things we have to do to function in simple daily life which is why I am giving you this view through my Lyme Lens.
The second major point to this blog post is that I am six days late for Memorial Day. Being late for holidays and basically ANY planned function is a common occurrence for a person with Chronic Lyme Disease. Unfortunately, we don’t get to plan when we are going to crash with this disease so it doesn’t really matter if the calendar says Christmas or Thanksgiving on it, you are in the bed. Period. This makes for a lot of disappointed family and friends at times but that is the explanation for the delay in this Memorial Day post. The reason I titled this entry, “Always on my mind…” is because for those of you who actually know me, you know how important the military is to me and how dear to my heart I hold my veterans.
I am a former military bride and I waited State-side while my beloved fought in what I like to call Persian Gulf One. I know what it is like to feel the fear of losing your husband at war, to live with the television on 24/7 waiting to hear anything about his unit being in danger, to get letters stamped “Air Mail” or as ours used to say “Free Mail” up in the corner because they didn’t need stamps to mail us a letter back then and to mail care packages every week. I have lived on a base, lived overseas and carried a dependent military ID everywhere I went. I have seen a man come home different than the man I sent but I never loved him any less for it, I loved him more. Veterans mean the world to me.
Even though I am not a military dependent any longer, that experience influenced my life. So when my current illness prevents me from participating in events to honor veterans it can be very discouraging. I have to remember that honoring veterans is something that can be done every day, not just on Veteran’s Day or Memorial Day. That’s why I wrote that they are “always on my mind…” So, even though I spent May 27th sick in bed this year, I was still able to watch the National Memorial Day Concert from Washington, DC on television like I do EVERY year and I was able to think about all of the people that I know who died while serving this country (my eyes to heaven for my friend’s cousin S.V. who died just recently). It’s not about WHEN you honor them, it’s about the fact that you take the time to honor them in your own special way no matter where you are, no matter how you can. My mind is willing even if my body is not able.
I wish all my veterans who gave the ultimate sacrifice a Happy Memorial Day (on Lyme Time).